This is an example of a 17/20 top band answer to the above question, as marked by the AQA.
In the pictures below, I’ve highlighted all of the candidate’s evaluations in red to show you the balance of knowledge and evaluation required to get into the top mark band!
This is also a good example of a borderline Band 4-Band 5 answer… it just wants a little more evaluation to go up even higher.
The mark scheme (top two bands)
Student’s Response (concepts highlighted in blue, evaluation in burnt orange)
NB It’s the same response all the way through, I’ve just repeated the title on the two pages!
This is a bit of a bizarre essay, but this is a good example of how to answer it.
Without the final paragraph it would be floundering down in the middle mark band!
AQA specimen material 2016